Mine was next in line for evaluation...then we ran out of time.
I was looking forward to hearing feedback.
The professor said if our synopsis hadn't been read, we could revise it and turn it in again. I debated about it, but I was afraid of over-thinking everything.
Yes, believe it or not, the guy who begged on this blog to help come up with an alternate title was afraid of over-thinking everything.
I decided to leave things as is.
My synopsis was read first. So, here's what I took from it:
Nobody said anything about the title. I shit bricks for nothing. The Orchid With the Petals of Velvet it is.
Going by the synopsis, the film is missing a protagonist. Yes, the film lingers mostly on one person, but their actions are too passive. I need to figure out how to give this person a more active role in the plot.
I need to change the name of the female lead. I call her Gia, but the professor kept pronouncing it with the G in "gust" instead of the G in "genius." Relatively easy fix.
The professor said my setting was fresh. He really liked the potential of setting the story in and around a brothel. The possibility of colorful characters excited him.
There aren't enough red herrings. Agreed. There's one main red herring in the synopsis, but to add others would have made the synopsis too long (we were only allowed 2 pages). I can easily rectify this in the treatment.
The revelation of the killer comes off as a cheap surprise. I knew this one ahead of time. Not having 100 pages to plant subtle clues makes it look cheap. I could have made the red herring the killer and it still would have looked cheap. I know how to make it a genuine surprise.
The opening threw him off. The beginning revolves around one character who dies fifteen minutes in. I tried to use Dressed To Kill as an example, where you think Angie Dickinson is gonna be the lead...only to be killed early on. He didn't recall that film. Had to use Janet Leigh in Psycho.
Now that I have some outsider perspectives, I can use them for the treatment, which is due in three weeks. Ten to twelve pages. Wish me genius and sanity.