Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Certified Video Nasty: The Beyond

Okay.  Finally getting around to writing about The Beyond.  Found some free time.  Not exactly feeling the greatest today so I'm skipping the gym and going tomorrow.  Think I just need a lazy day.

So, onto The Beyond...

I found it at the Naro Expanded Video store while waiting for the box office to open up (Also found Twitch of the Death Nerve, George).  Unfortunately, Virginia's super hot this time of year.  Didn't wanna risk having it sit in my car, so I had to wait until the movie was over.

So I went next door and saw the restoration of Metropolis.  Excellent, but I realized why I don't often see movies over 100 minutes in the theater...I don't have the butt-cheek fortitude.  Not even Metropolis can offset the effects of a numb backside.

Raced back to the video store, as if The Beyond were the last copy of...the latest new release of some type.  Dunno why I worried so much.  The only other person in Hampton Roads who I've spoken about Fulci with face-to-face totally destroyed the pronunciation of his name.  And that duder doesn't like Argento or Italian horror in general.  He prefers the Asian stuff...If I wanted pale, dark haired chicks, I'd rent Twilight....

So I popped this bad boy into the player that night.  Two movies in one day...talk about ass-cheek fortitude.  Even watching the second movie stretched across my bed.

The sepia toned prologue was quite well done.  Sure, the gore was kinda cheap, but it's Fulci.  I'm starting to see the light...Thin stories held together by gore setpieces.  This one takes a cue from Don't Torture a Duckling's chain-whipping scene and ups the ante with acid to the face.

The rest of the film doesn't disappoint, either.  Face meltings, eye-gougings (this time from the back of the head to the front), face-eating tarantulas...All outlandish, all fun.  One can see why the Brits got their knickers in a bunch.

And speaking of the tarantulas, I HATE spiders.  I have a history of arachnophobia.  I can kill them if need be, but other than that...ugh...If I see a big ugly spider on TV, I end up having nightmares that night.  And I sure did that night.  Brr...I don't care if they were fake during the actual flesh eating.  There were REAL spiders in some of those shots...

This film is truly one of Fulci's golden greats, and one every self-respecting gorehound should see it.


1 comment:

  1. I was going to say something about volunteering to help you with your butt-cheek fortitude but people might take it the wrong way. Anyway...

    Glad you dug on The Beyond, duder. It's a favorite of mine and I've seen it rub people the wrong way. Big time. The film is definitely a unique experience and it gets better with multiple viewings. That's probably why I've watched it like 10 times.