The Strange Colour of Your Body's Tears

Damn, it's been a long time.  Hasn't it?

I haven't forgotten you.  I just didn't know where to begin again.

I went to New Orleans in March with some of my best friends to represent Fatal Games at Filmapalooza.  It was amazing.  Met some great people, went to some awesome places.  Felt inspired to write.  Lost $80 at the casino.  Became a rum and coke drinker.

I may have made some headway turning Coming Distractions into a reality.  I don't know what I am at liberty to say.  But I did finish a 45-page draft of the wraparound story, because I know a 90 minute feature of absolutely nothing but trailers would make even the strongest film fan wanna kill somebody.

Also recently finished another draft of Orchid and sent it out to Shriekfest and the Stage 32 Search for New Blood Screenwriting Contest.  Not a complete re-write, but I added a couple elements and fixed grammatical stuff that I totally missed the first fifty times around.  Glad to have a professor who's willing to re-read and give feedback two years after graduating.

Contemplating my next project.  But first I have to finish this romantic comedy.  I've been letting it torture me too long.  Debating between another giallo or finally sitting down to write my book about the genre.  My professor says whenever I'm ready he'll be glad to meet.  And I've been looking at old papers I wrote for class.  With a little finesse, these could become chapters.

Okay.  Enough about me.  Let's get back to the reason I built this blog: Gialli.

I've caught a few of the neo-gialli coming out.  Tulpa, Bloodbath in the House of Knives, and the most recent, The Strange Colour of Your Body's Tears, two nights ago.

Where to begin with Strange Colour?

I wasn't the biggest fan of Amer.  It was absolutely beautiful to look at, but it felt like three practically wordless short films strung together with the poor explanation of "these are three events in the same girl's life."  I can get down with art movies, and films that don't follow the traditional story structure.  But there still needs to be something more there.

As for Forzani and Cattet's O is for Orgasm short in the ABC's of Death, by the time I reached O in that film, I was spent.  Maybe if I saw it on its own, I'd dig it.  I'm not getting it from Netflix again, though, to find out.

When I popped Strange Colour into my player, I boogied to the music on the menu.  Always a good start.  I set my Philips Hue lights to one of my custom settings (I freaking love Philips Hue.  My room looks like Suspiria every night) and pressed Play.

The film starts promisingly enough.  Arrival from airport ala Suspiria, check.  Coming home to find wife missing, check.  Beautiful cinematography, check.  The film is certainly a treat for the senses.  But soon the plot takes a left turn, and becomes more and more circular.  Sequences are repeated.  First it's effective.  Then it becomes off putting.  Then by the fifth time you see the lead getting out of bed to answer the door in the same fashion, you start to laugh.  People die, or do they?  Dream?  Nightmare?  Drugs?  Padding out running time?  I eventually tried to turn my brain off and enjoy the pretty colors, but then things felt empty.  By the last five minutes, I just wanted it to end.

I eventually came up with an analogy for the film.

Strange Colour feels like this: You're in a dark room, naked.  Barely out of reach is the most stunning woman you've ever seen in your life.  She's naked, too.  Touching herself.  Pleasuring herself.  Everything looks right.  Everything sounds right.  Sometimes her breath grazes your ear.  You just want to feel something, but she won't let you.  She's just getting off in front of you and doesn't care about your pleasure whatsoever.

Stretch that experience to 97 minutes.  You have Strange Colour of Your Body's Tears.

Later.
-Justin

Big hurdle

Well, I didn't make the finals of Shriekfest.  Ah, well.  It was great making the semis.  Shriekfest is a great festival.  And I WILL make it someday...That didn't sound too creepy did it?

Anyhow, since I didn't make it to Shriekfest this year, I decided to use the money to invest in Coming Distractions.  I bought a new camera, so that when I start gathering funds, I have a big part of it already.

Went with the T5i.  My professors recommended the T3i, and my photographer friend recommended the T4i because of the autofocus-in-film-mode.  My store doesn't carry the T4i, so I bumped up to T5i.

Now I just need $20,000...locations...actors...a sound guy...and a DP because I think I'd mess thing up if I did it myself...

Okay.  Time to relax.  I gotta get up at 5:45.  BLAH.

Later.
-Justin

Updates and stuff

Still not dead.

So much has happened since my last blog post.  Where do I begin?

I participated in the 48 Hour Film Project with a team of my good friends.  We had two days to write, produce, and edit a short film.  I was the writer on my team, and our team won FOUR awards!  We got the Audience Award, Best Director, Best Actress (the super talented Ashley Skweres), and BEST FILM!  We're going to Filmapalooza in March.  So now I gotta slim down and look sexy for the big fest.

I've made it to the Quarterfinals for a few festivals with Orchid.  Fade In Awards, Writers on the Storm, Creative World Awards...

Two days ago, I got a phone call from Denise Gossett who runs the Shriekfest Horror Film Festival.  Orchid made the Quarterfinals!

Then today I got another message (my phone conveniently went out), and Denise let me know that I made SEMIFINALS!  I am so freaking excited!  My little giallo that could is doing so well!

Using this as fuel for my other projects.  I'm working on the romantic comedy, as well as getting things together for my own independent project.  Coming Distractions is gonna be my next passion project, a film made of faux-trailers.  Like Grindhouse.  It'll follow a movie theater screening and the audience while they watch all sorts of trailers while waiting for their movie to start.

I've set some money aside for a camera, but that'll go to traveling funds if Orchid makes the finals of Shriekfest.  Then once I get the romantic comedy finished, I'm gonna finish the script of Coming Distractions and start trying to raise funds.

Okay. I'm gonna enjoy this moment.

Later.
-Justin

I'm not dead

I know.  It's been a while.

I've been accumulating all sorts of gialli, but haven't been sitting down and watching them.  I think I'm about due for another giallo marathon.

Also, Orchid has been making the contest rounds, doing well in a few.  It made Quarterfinals in the Writers on the Storm contest, but didn't advance past that.  It made it to the Quarterfinals of the Fade In Awards, but the Semis haven't been announced yet.  Still waiting to hear from a few more.  Also got a lead or two film Inktip that got a bite.  I'm trying to remain realistic, so I don't wanna be all super excited for nothing.

I'm considering doing something on my own with Orchid, as well.  Some days, I think about a graphic novel.  But I can't draw.  Or afford to pay someone else to draw.

More possible would be to make a fake trailer for it, like Grindhouse.  Or find a way to gather money and just do the whole damn thing.  Starting to look into those avenues right now.  I'd need a shit ton of money for gels.  Or sleep with a professor at school so I could borrow them from the theater ("I'll do that swirly thing you like for a set of violet").  Indie Go Go, perhaps?

Anyhow, I am still writing, too.  But this isn't a giallo.  I'm working on a romantic comedy with a friend of mine.  A nice departure for me, but a bigger challenge as well.  I sometimes wanna throw a fedora on somebody and hand them a razor.

When I finish this script, I plan on writing another giallo and revisiting She Has Rebecca's Eyes.  Still bridging some gaps between storylines in that and trying to figure it all out.

Okay.  I'm gonna relax a bit before I gotta drop my car off for inspection.

Later.
-Justin

Holy crap, it's been long...

Honestly didn't mean to take so long to write on here.  Just been busy.  Like, really busy.

So, Halloween was nice.  Totally forgot what I watched, since it's been so long.  But I do know I bridged the gap between Halloween and Christmas by watching the "All Through The House" episode of Tales From The Crypt the next morning.

Black Friday was...well...busy.  I'm getting too old for this shit.  I hope I can get a job where I can either sleep in on Black Friday, or just avoid shopping all together.  However, I spent my entire post Black Friday check on Christmas presents.  Seriously, where did the $$$ go?  Though I did buy myself a couple things: Giallo Scrapbook 1, and copies of Scorpion's Kiss and Obsession: A Taste For Fear (which I know I am not allowed to like but feel I will love).

And in other great news, I entered Orchid into a contest last month.  I wasn't expecting to place or anything.  I entered mainly to get the judges' feedback form, so I could get more insight on how to improve it.

And...

Instead...

I got 2nd place!

Holy crap!  Like, holy freakin' crap!  2nd place!

And it wasn't even a horror/thriller contest.  It was all genres.  That has made my week.

Still haven't gotten the judges' feedback form, but my name is on the website.  Check it out: www.writemovies.com

Okay.  Watching TV.  Relaxing as much as I can between retail bouts.

Later.
-Justin

Long time, no update...

It's been almost a month.  Hasn't it?

No excuses.  I've been lazy.  Not writing anything.  Just working, watching movies, and napping.  Probably subconsciously resting up for the busy Christmas season ahead at work.

I have been mapping out my upcoming writing projects, however, and scheduling them.  Some interesting developments.

My current project is my romantic comedy.  Working on it with a friend.  I need to ask him to light a fire under my ass.  Because I'm lazy.  Deadlines imposed by others make me actually work.

Then my next project will most likely be my next giallo, "She Has Rebecca's Eyes."  Think Body Puzzle meets Blink meets 70's giallo depravity.  Good gory fun.

Also retooling another horror idea I have called "Butterfly Collector."  I've written and re-written the opening scene at least four times over the past ten years.  Probably the most emotional piece I've done.  I think I keep putting this one off because I know it would never get produced.  Too dark, too bleak, no happy ending for anyone.

And I've been thinking about "Proxy," my sci-fi giallo.  After a thorough dissection, I've determined I accidentally wrote the second installment of a trilogy.  But three screenplays won't cut it.  This story needs novels.

Lately I've been thinking about writing a book about gialli.  I've been teetering back and forth on the subject, trying to figure out what style to do it in, what exactly to write about, etc.  Still debating on it.  My professor has been a great help, though.  Maybe I'll expand one of my film series and see how it goes.

And, yes, I've watched a lot of gialli lately.  I don't even know if I can name them all.  I'll go through them later and let you know.

Okay.  Gonna watch some TV and go to bed early.  Morning shift tomorrow.

Later.
-Justin

Starter Gialli

Sorry about the absence.  Lots of stuff going on.  Working more hours, getting my graduation figured out, etc.  And finally catching up with Breaking Bad on Netflix (halfway through season 3).

My grandfather died a few weeks ago, so last week I flew up to Toledo to attend the service.  Spent quite a lot of time with my cousin, who follows Italian Lemonade (shout out to Zach!).  At one point over beer, he asked me for some good gialli to introduce himself to the genre.

And I blanked.

You see, there's a difference between the top gialli and the ones that you should use to introduce one to the genre.  As brilliant as films like Perfume of the Lady in Black and So Sweet So Dead are, going into them blindly without any previous giallo experience would throw you for a loop.

So now I've searched my library, as well as other sources, and think I've found a few that would make great starts to the genre.

Criteria: They must be good films, of course.  They must also fit the most basic requirements of a giallo (namely black trenchcoats, beautiful women in peril, a central mystery).  And they must be available on Netflix, because I'm not gonna send anyone on a wild goose chase to introduce themselves to a genre.  I've left out a few, even though they are indeed classics, because I feel you need to see other films in the genre first to understand how they transcend what else was out at the time.

Feel free to add a few in the comments as well.

So...here goes...

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage-Even though gialli existed before this film, this one really started the boom.  This one established the formula and for the next four years gialli tried to replicate this film most of all.

Don't Torture a Duckling-Because Fulci needs to be seen, and I feel of his gialli, this is his most accessible (despite the hard-to-defend title).  I've been trying to get my giallo-curious friends into it, and for a while it was even STREAMING on Netflix.

Black Belly of the Tarantula-A truly great giallo.  Three Bond girls (I count Casino Royale, so bite me), an ingenious murder method, and a good mystery at the same time.  Why isn't this on Blu Ray?

The Case of the Bloody Iris-This one does everything right, IMHO.  It has Edwige Fenech, queen of the giallo.  It also has that fantastic score by Bruno Nicolai.  And the film itself is such a breeze that I find myself rewatching it at least once a year (and I'm not much of a repeat viewer).

Blood and Black Lace-Sure, this one is a bit slow moving, but it's one of the best uses of color in a horror film.  That plus a salacious score (which later got re-used for A Dragonfly for Each Corpse).

Stagefright-80's giallo supreme!  Pure fun.  I hear Michele Soavi's back in the directors chair...can someone send him a copy of Orchid?

So, there's my list.  I'm sure I'll come up with more later, but these are worthy intros.  Put them on your Netflix queue.  And thank me later.

Later.

-Justin

Back to watching...and buying...

So.

I'm not writing my giallo anymore.  And school's officially out.  So I'm pretty much just working.  And getting started on finding a job outside of retail.

In the next few days I will be able to relax and watch some gialli again.

Also bought a few more: Bad Inclination, Body Puzzle, and Sotto il Vestito Niente-L'ultima Sfilata (Nothing Underneath: The Final Show).  Bringing the total to 105.

Sotto...and my previous purchase of Love and Death in the Garden of the Gods are both special purchases because they are not English friendly in any way.  Sotto bombed at the box office so of course they were just gonna dump it on disk.  And Love and Death is from Cinekult, who has been releasing a shitload of gialli without any subtitles (even when subs are available on bootlegs from such sites as www.zddvisualmedia.com and www.cinema-de-bizarre.com ).  I might pick up another non-English friendly movie and make a mini-marathon of it, seeing if I can appreciate them without knowing what on earth they're saying (I only speak an Italian dialect known as Pasta).

Let's see what else is out there for me...

Later.
-Justin

Back from the professor...

Boy am I tired.

Long day.  Long long long day.

I had my meeting with my professor regarding my script.  I still have a way to go before this bad boy would be ready to send out.  Which I completely understand and freely admit.  During the discussion, I think I dawned on why this script was so hard.  This one feels like a sequel to an unwritten original.  It has all sorts of concepts that are in place in my mind, but there is no room to establish them.  I need to write a first story that plants these concepts.

While we talked, I figured out the basic storyline and how I could establish these ideas.  And I already thought of how a Proxy 2 would have worked out.  Do I smell a trilogy?  Maybe...

Anyhow, I got a B for the course.  Not bad, considering how I struggled with this script.

On another note, I just released my first line of fabrics for sale on www.spoonflower.com.  If you have any sewing needs, check these out.

http://www.spoonflower.com/collections/22047

Okay.  I'm gonna relax.

Later.
-Justin

Coming Down...

Still going through the myriad of emotions of this screenplay.  Feeling it's the worst thing I've ever written. Wishing I'd gone with my other giallo concept instead.  That one had none of the sci-fi trappings, so I could've used the whole script writing what I do best--murder pieces (it's actually quite disturbing how good my set pieces are).

I spoke with another professor tonight, and he said he goes through the same emotions with every project he does.  Which makes me feel a lot better.  Now that it's turned in for good, he told me to stay away from it for 4-6 months.

So in the meantime, I'm trying to get more time at work, since I graduate in two weeks.  More time = more $$$ = less debt.

And on the side I'm actually releasing my stress through a strange endeavor.  I'm designing fabric.  On Spoonflower.com you can design your own fabric and have it made for whatever kind of project you want to do.  I can't sew (yet), but I've been making my own designs and I'm about to make my first collection available for sale.  Not giallo related, but still eye-catching and pretty, IMHO.  When this collection becomes available for sale, I'll let y'all know.

Of course I couldn't do that project and completely abandon gialli/Italian horror.  I made up a few prints for my own personal use using giallo poster art.  I plan on someday learning how to sew so I can make myself a shirt with the skull/butterfly image from the Bloodstained Butterfly poster.  And another with the poster art for AAA Massagiatrice Bella...you know the rest of that title.

And now that my second draft is turned in, I've managed to find the time to watch more movies.  Watched Open Coffin Empty Tomb on Saturday.  Really enjoyed it.  It's a slow burner, but it paid off at the end.  And I watched Death Steps in the Dark last night.  That one didn't really do anything for me.  I might just have been tired, though.

Okay.  I'm going to bed.  It's 1:12 and I've been up since 6 or so.  I'm tired.

Later.
-Justin

He merely abandons it...

No, I'm not quitting Italian Lemonade.  Just finishing a quote.  "No artist finishes his work, he merely abandons it..."

I finished my second draft of my screenplay for my independent study.

And...I...kinda...hate it.

Maybe it's just from having been involved in it all summer.  I dunno.

I rearranged a lot of it and changed the flow.  Took out some of the scenes, added new scenes.  The giallo elements are more consistent throughout.  In the previous draft, the giallo moments don't start until around page 50.  Now it starts in the 20's.  Added another death scene, too.

But I ended up cutting some of the more emotional scenes at the same time.  And where I had some scenes juxtaposed together for a specific reason, I had to separate them this time.

Maybe it's a better draft.  Maybe it isn't.  I don't know.  I think I'm just still on overload.

Downloading a couple movies I rented off iTunes.  It was storming really bad.  Now it's gotten better, but I'll have something to watch should the power go out.

Giallo tonight?

Later.
-Justin

Instead of doing what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing...

By the time I got off of work tonight, between the rain and the fatigue, I didn't get to editing Proxy/A Flash of White/Whatever it's gonna end up being called.

Instead I farted around.  And now I'm on the computer while listening to the love theme from Dracula 3D and watching Law and Order SVU.

This draft is due Friday.  Whatever am I gonna do?

Anyhow, I'm taking a mental break from that script and thinking about Orchid again.  I love the set pieces of that script.  I've been thinking about my idea to film it with Barbie dolls again.  Kind of a "if Todd Haynes did a giallo instead of Karen Carpenter's life story." thing.  Maybe a trailer.  Then maybe use that to expand to a 20 minute short (Indie Go Go?).

I've discussed it with my equally twisted sister, who has an extensive Barbie collection.  She's willing to make slutty Barbie clothes (and a trenchcoat?) for the cause.  I'd have to build a simple 1:6 scale set that could be easily redressed.  And I'd need a camera.  Which I need anyway.  And I'd have to learn how to do stop-motion.  Which was available at one point at school but now isn't (and I'm graduating anyway).

But I really kinda wanna do this.  It'd be fun.  Well, at least the end result would be fun.  I dunno.

Maybe it's just my mind wandering to avoid editing this other script.

What do you think?

Seriously, responses would be appreciated.

Thanks.

Later.
-Justin

What did I get myself into?

Trying to rearrange things in this screenplay.  It's a mess.  Why did I choose to do this script?  I could've done my romantic comedy and had it so easy.

"I know!  I'll challenge myself!  It'll be fun!"

Bugh.

Please send good vibes my way.  I need all of them.

BTW, What Have They Done To Your Daughters was great.  More dynamic than Solange, IMHO.  Solange had a better score, though.

Back to the grind.

Later.
-Justin

My brain is overheated. I think I smell bacon.

So.

Had my meeting with my professor regarding my first draft.

Still absorbing.

He said I have some good ideas with the sci-fi thing, but that I jump from one to another without a common thread or arc to unify them.  Which I totally get.  I feel the need to put in all these ideas for this expansive world in so few pages.  To put all these ideas in at once would require a novel.  Or a trilogy.

Told me to lose or completely retool the main story, which revolved around the murder of a little girl.  While I used this to initially blow up into a bigger thing, it didn't really fit.  Understandable.  But that part of the story was the emotional center for me.  I'll have to contemplate this.

Simplify the story.  Killer's motive is too complicated.  Keep it simple.

There wasn't nearly enough giallo for his liking.  It came in too late, too.  Make it more of a straight up giallo.  Said that's where I was in my element.  I totally agree with this.  I only have two giallo moments in the whole thing, and if I am to make it a sci-fi/giallo hybrid, I need more giallo.  It's like cowbell with leather gloves.

He also kind of suggested upping the sleaze factor.  Which I might do.  Though sometimes I already feel like Joe Eszterhas with nicer tits.

How am I gonna be able to do all this in two weeks?

I already came up with an idea for some of it.  I just need to sit down and think it through.

Where's my insulin pump that dispenses caffeine?

Later.
-Justin

Digesting, Decompressing, DONE...

I finished my second screenplay today.  Turned it into the professor.  Should hear back from him in the next few days.

This is the fabled sci-fi/giallo hybrid.

And my brain hurts.

This one ends on a completely different tangent than the original synopsis.  And ended up being less of a giallo than originally planned.  Really only two giallo-esque murders (both of which would turn me into the New King Of The Eyeball Gag.  FULCI LIVES!).  That said, I think it's enough of a giallo for fellow enthusiasts to catch.

A lot more dramatic than I expected.  Some really sad moments.  It's also the darkest thing I've ever written.  Like, really dark.  Who Saw Her Die looks like a comedy compared to this.

Well, now that I've turned everything in, I can now lift my "No Movie Watching" rule.  And guess what arrived yesterday...

My FREAKING AWESOME HAUL from www.cinema-de-bizarre.com

I also ordered Love and Death in the Garden of the Gods, raising my total to 102.  The Cinekult DVD was on eBay, and I HAD to have it.  Sure, it isn't English friendly, but I've wanted this movie so badly since I read about it in Blood and Black Lace.

Hmm...which one should I watch?

Anyhow, I'm gonna decompress now.  Celebrated finishing my script with a big honkin' meal at East Side Pizza.  Now I need to rest a bit before an early bedtime.  Morning meeting tomorrow, then I have the rest of the day off...and trust me, I'm relaxing all day tomorrow.

Later.
-Justin

Writer's Block...

Bugh.  Establishing everything is the hardest part of screenwriting.  Settings, characters, concepts.  I'm never writing sci-fi again.  Unless I get hired to work on a big budget movie and get some M. Night Shyamalan bucks.

Script due in less than two weeks.  Updates here will be sporadic.  Especially considering how little I've written so far.

Find a way to see Squillo.  Great little thriller that slipped through the cracks.  Carlo Vanzina gets no love in giallo circles.  Duder made this and Nothing Underneath.  And Mystere, which I'm getting in a few weeks.

Speaking of which, Go to www.cinema-de-bizarre.com!  Tell them Justin Kosch sent you!  Take advantage of the BLOWOUT sale!  And buy 2 get 1 free always!

Okay.  Decompressing before work.  Maybe I'll try to write tonight.

Later.
-Justin

Milestone

So.

I wish I could say I'm working on my script.  But I've been slacking.  So now I have three weeks to write the rest of it.  BLAH.

But once I get it turned in, I have a lot more gialli coming in to decompress with.

I just made a couple of orders, and soon I will be the proud owner of...

101 gialli!

Let's see what all I've ordered...

Blind Date (Scandal In Black)
Strip Nude For Your Killer (Blu Ray)
Squillo
Mystere
Bloodstained Butterfly
Open Tomb, Empty Coffin
Amuck
Death Haunts Monica
Orgasmo
Pensione Paura
What Have They Done To Your Daughters?
Tropic of Cancer
Death Steps In The Dark
A Quiet Place To Kill
Murder Mansion

I've seen Bloodstained Butterfly (and owned it for a while, but it got mixed up with Dad's VHS tapes so it's a re-buy) and Strip Nude For Your Killer.  Everything else is brand new for me.  I also ordered a documentary about gialli, Dear Dead Delilah, and The Prey.  I dunno what The Prey is even about, but it's uncut.  And free.

Oh how I have fallen in love with www.cinema-de-bizarre.com  They're having a 20% off blowout sale.  Just type in BLOWOUT at checkout.  And for every 2 movies you buy, you get one FREE.  Do yourself a favor and check them out.

Ah, happy day...

Later.
-Justin

Early night

I'm only on page nine of this script.  My brain hurts.  But I think I'll try to wait until I get feedback on the first few pages before starting again.

Changed the look of the site.  My eyes hurt when I would go from the yellow-on-black to other websites.  This probably ain't much better.

Got my tax check.  Probably gonna spend a super small portion of it on Cinema De Bizarre.  Any recommendations?

Later.
-Justin

Quickie, because I need rest

I'm on page 8.

It's not just perfect.  It's divine.

Well, it's horrible, but I wanna stay positive.

All this bath salt crap in the news is making me want to make a short film.  Pretty much making a zombie movie about bath salts the way only Fulci could have.  But alas, I have too much on my plate at the moment.  Class, working on two scripts at once, working in retail...

Maybe when the summer's over.  Because there'll be more incidents in the news by then.

And if it happens, who's with me?

Later.
-Justin

Had my meeting...

Holy shit my foot hurts.

Stupid gout.  Stupid me for going back to a shitty diet when I vowed to never do it again.  Fuuuuuucccccckkkkk...I'm all hobbly.  And probably gonna have a Vicodin before the end of the night.

Anyhow, I managed to hobble my way over to my meeting today regarding "Proxy."

Went well, I guess.

He said I had too many ideas for one screenplay, and that a lot of things are mentioned and then untouched for the rest of the story.  Which makes a lot of sense.  I did stockpile a lot of ideas into the treatment.  But at the same time, I think it just looks like a lot when crammed into a 10 page summary, but when woven into a 100-135 page narrative could fit perfectly.  I could just be in love with my ideas and refusing to let them go.  I'm an Aries and I have my mother's "winner complex."

He did make a good point that the goal of the protagonist is muddled.  What starts off as a straight-ahead detective case becomes a mess.  I need to clarify a lot of it.  And by the end it relies on too many coincidences.  That happens when you write 8 pages in 4 hours.

He told me to ditch the religious-group angle that I put in it because it disappears by the end of the script.  But I want to keep it in.  Maybe expand upon it.  It's the most emotional part of my fictional world, in my opinion.

He did think I did a good job establishing the more sci-fi aspects, including the "Proxy" that the film revolves around.  I need to build them, though, and make the finale more intense.

All in all, a productive meeting.

Okay.  I gotta put my feet up.  Stupid gout.

Later.
-Justin